18. Repair Is Foundational

Repair is the third major pillar in healthy attachment.  Repair in a relationships is in some ways the most important aspect and also the most elusive.  We know that in this fallen world we will have conflicts in even our most cherished relationships.  

When you were growing up, was good repair demonstrated for you?  When you misbehaved were you invited to repair with a parent?  Did you ever experience your parent apologizing and repairing after they were harsh to you?  Was there an opportunity to discuss the conflict in a way that felt safe?

The forgiveness we have in Christ frees us to move toward reconciliation with others, whether we are the offender or the offended, or as is often the case, both.  The opportunity for Repair serves as a foundation saying we are always safe; this too can be forgiven.  Conversely, when repair is not available we will feel the need to walk on egg shells in the relationship.